Commonalities
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: Max is a completely average teenager, while Minerva is a complete yankee. Vijeeter is Max's best friend, a dance freak, and utterly convinced that the two are perfect for each other and not even their vehement and sometimes violent protests will convince him otherwise.


**Okay, this was supposed to be a short drabble, based on a prompt requested by i-see-fairy-tail on Tumblr. But it turned out too damned cute for me to stop there.**

 **So hurray. I shall now write a multi-chapter high school AU MinMax full of adorable normal guy Max and yandere Minerva.**

 **SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS SHIPPING HELL.**

 ** _Prompt: "I'm really allergic to the food the school is serving and I didn't bring a lunch, but you are nice enough to share your lunch with me."_**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

The long anticipated bell rang for lunch at Fiore high school. In one particular classroom, however, there were two friends who had very differing opinions on this occurrence.

"Lunch time! This calls for the dance of happiness!" one teenager declared, determination shining in his eyes.

However, the person seated next to him did not agree.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Max groaned, slumping at his desk. Weakly, he thumped his forehead against the wooden object.

Vijeeter precariously leaned over in his seat, until his body was held perfectly horizontal to the floor. He remained in that position, in order to more readily meet Max's gaze of utter dejection. "You are not performing the dance of happiness," he remarked. "What is wrong?"

"I forgot my lunch," mumbled the blond.

Righting himself with velocity a cheetah would envy, Vijeeter snapped to attention. Then the brunette scrambled over backwards off his chair in a move that defied the rules – those of school, etiquette... and physics. Now on his feet, Vijeeter walked behind Max. Lifting his friend up by his armpits, he dragged Max's listless form away. "We shall check the cafeteria, then!"

"Won't do any good," Max warned his friend. Still, he let himself be hauled down the hallway; completely not helping in any way shape or form with the endeavor.

* * *

Staring at the selection of cafeteria food did not improve Max's mood in the slightest. It wasn't as if it was all inedible garbage – just the stuff that he could eat was. Honestly, everything else looking fantastic. "I'm allergic to pretty much everything here," he informed his friend. "And I'm not touching the stuff here that I'm not allergic to. Get whatever you want, and I'll go find us a spot. I think I saw Warren and Nab a couple minutes ago…"

Vijeeter nodded. "Sorry, Max. I forgot about your allergies."

The blond shrugged. "It's fine. I'll just go hungry for today. One skipped meal can't possibly kill me." A loud, painful-sounding grumble emanated from Max's midsection. "Though I kind of wish it could."

It only took the teenager a couple of minutes to locate his other friends sitting at a table outside by themselves.

"Hey, Max!" Warren greeted him as he sat down. "Where's your lunch?"

"Forgot it. Can't eat anything they've got offered here."

His childhood friend nodded. "Right, your allergies."

Nab glanced between the pair curiously. "Are they really that bad? What are you allergic to?"

Max held up his hand and began to count them down on his fingers. "Let's see… there's gluten, eggs, milk, tomatoes, corn…" He lifted his other hand to use those fingers as well, "Soy, grass, and pollen. Oh, and animal dander." Pausing for a moment, he tacked on, "And penicillin."

The pair stared at him for a long moment. "Wow," Nab finally stated. "That's pretty much everything except air and water. …Actually, that includes air, come to think of it."

"Pretty much, "Max agreed. "Although… in a bitter twist of irony, I'm completely fine with nuts and shellfish." His stomach chose that moment to rumble ominously again. "Ugh… I'm so hungry…"

A bento box clattered onto the table in front of him, startling the blond greatly. "What the – "

"I made too much, so eat this and stop your bitching," snarled a feminine voice to Max's right. "You and your little pals are goddamn annoying."

Max, his eyes as wide as they possibly go, stared straight up into the cold visage of Fiore High's greatest terror.

Minerva Orlando. Widely known around the school as the number one person to not piss off ever. If anyone ever did, then the yankee girl would ensure that their bodies were never found.

The older student towered over Max, her long, flowing dark hair swaying in the slight breeze but for where it was held in place by two buns and braids. A face mask was pulled down from her mouth to rest on her chin, putting her derisive sneer on display to full effect.

"Uh…um…" Max sputtered, completely bewildered. "Thank you for the food?"

"Hmph," she huffed. Spinning on her heels, she stomped away until she had disappeared around a corner.

Everyone stared in shock at where the delinquent had vanished.

"I'm confused," Nab spoke up.

"Me, too," Warren agreed.

Max merely shook his head and lifted the lid off the bento box.

"Hey, wait!" cautioned Warren. "Knowing _her_ reputation, it's probably poisoned or full of needles or something!"

"Too hungry to care," Max replied. He perused the contents of the lunch with curiosity. "Uh… guys?"

"What?" they asked in unison.

"…I can eat this." When they just looked at him blankly, Max clarified, "I mean… I'm not allergic to any of it."

"Huh?!" they screeched.

Vijeeter chose that moment to appear, plunking himself down at the table and scaring the other three into screaming loudly and flailing their arms at him. Taking this to be some sort of new exotic dance, Vijeeter committed the moves to memory, and then asked, "What's going on? …Did I miss something?"

* * *

It was only once she had maneuvered her way to her favorite spot – far from the prying eyes of teachers and students alike – that Minerva stopped in her tracks. She knelt down beside the low wall behind the gym building that served no identifiable purpose. Leaning heavily on it, Minerva then began to beat her head viciously against the bricks in self-admonishment.

 _'What the hell kind of shoujo manga situation have I gotten myself into?!'_ Minerva internally screeched at herself. _'I've lost my damn mind! Why did I do that? Why?'_

Frantically, she tried to analyze the situation. Why had she just given her lunch to that dorky blond second year? Why? One minute, she'd been minding her own business, and then their incessant babbling on gotten on her nerves. Deciding to make an example out of all of them, she gone over there with the intent to do just that. So why?! Why the hell had she just spit out that stupid line about making too much food and forked over her lunch?!

 _'Was it because the blond guy had the same allergies I do?'_ she wondered. That had been a first for her, encountering someone with the same restrictions her body placed upon her. _'Pity. It was pity. That's a form of scorn, right? Perfectly normal! And allergies are a royal bitch.'_

Minerva hit her head harder against the wall. _'But why did he have to be so damn cute?! And why can't I stop thinking about it?!'_

* * *

 **Since I gave Max pollen allergies in a different fic, I gave him even more in this one.**

 **I had to give Vijeeter a part in this. BECAUSE VIJEETER.**

 **…I fucking love Vijeeter. Don't judge me.**


End file.
